Apology in Advance

I\’ve just been tagged to be the Ying to ExpatMum\’s Yang on the Richard Bacon Show. But I lost the toss so I have to take the Pro-US side.

Granted, I am Pro-US, but I\’m Pro-UK, too. This, however, is entertainment and my job is to talk the US up and really trash Great Britain, while ExpatMum argues the UK side. It ought to be a hoot, but I certainly hope no one takes my diatribes seriously; my aim is to sell books, not have people burn them (or me).

And wouldn\’t you know it, the BBC are having problems arranging a local studio for me to go to so I have to drive up to London and sit in their main studio with Richard Madeley.

As an aside, the BBC Producer who spoke with me today told me Richard Madeley would be the host and asked if I know of him. I told him I didn\’t think so. He said that he was on the Richard and Judy Show. So I\’m thinking, \”Well, I\’m at work when they are on, so whenever this Richard guy was a guest, I\’m sure I missed him.\” So I said, \”Oh, all right.\” Later, when I spoke to my wife, she told me he was the Richard in The Richard and Judy show. OMG! I\’ll definitely bring up a book to sell to him. (Note to US readers: this is like going on the Oprah Show as far as pitching a book is concerned.)

But now I have to cram for the big night and try to come up with reasons to not like Britain and arguments as to why the US is so much better. I did tell them this is contrary to what my blog and book is all about, but for the sake of A) the craic, B) getting some publicity, C) chatting live with ExpatMum and D) meeting famous people I think I can pretend that there are some things about Britain that really piss me off.

And perhaps I really won\’t have to pretend all that much; my wife thinks this will be a grand opportunity to blossom into the grumpy old man I am fast becoming. I have to admit I do tend to have one-way conversations with the tellyon occasion, but who doesn\’t. You can\’t expect a man to stay calm when there are yabbos getting off with a slap on the wrist, people cluttering up the streets, lager louts terrorizing town centers…

Hey, and don\’t get me started on customer service.