Today’s essay (I like the sound of that; it implies I post regularly, which we all know, I don’t) is about pockets, and what people—more specifically, boys—keep, or used to keep, in them.

This idea came about during an investigation of and rumination about what was currently in my own pockets (okay, I was bored) and prompted me to wonder if children bother putting stuff in their pockets any longer. I suspect any modern child over the age of six would simply carry a smartphone, as it serves as camera, entertainment device, credit card and, even, a phone. What else does a child need?

Well, as Shania Twain’s grand uncle, Mark (not really) noted in his book, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, “a dead rat and a string to swing it with” might come in handy. I can’t see a phone duplicating that in any satisfactory way. I also can’t imagine using a Samsung Galaxy A52s 5G, or even an iPhone 11, to start a campfire or burn your name into a hunk of wood, as only a magnifying glass can do, and which I—at one time—steadfastly carried in my pocket. This wasn’t the Sherlock Holmes type magnifier, with a handle and all, but just a small, circular, convex piece of glass that served the purpose nicely throughout those years when having a magnifying glass ready at a moment’s notice was an important part of my life.

Going back to my earlier years, the most common items I carried were a comb (hair fashion being more important in one’s teens than in one’s 60s), a wallet and a pocketknife. I can’t now imagine why I had a wallet, as I know I didn’t have any money to put in it, photos were rare back then, and I certainly didn’t have a credit card. I guess it must have been fashion. As for the knife, however, I can’t fathom going through life without one. I got a jack knife as soon as I joined Cub Scouts and have carried some variation ever since.

In later years, I carried a harmonica everywhere I went, and I’m sure my friends were glad I did. Not. After I gave up the harmonica and took up the guitar, the harmonica was replaced with a guitar pick. I’m sure my friends preferred that, as I didn’t often have a guitar with me.

During my high school years, I had a pocket protector (yeah, I was one of those kids) to hold my pen, mechanical pencil and, of course, my pocket slide rule. (I got better.)

During my mid-teens, when I was doing sandblasting for my dad, I carried a sandblaster tip. They wore out quickly, so I always seemed to need one, and they, happenstancially, had a bore hole that snugly held a .22 bullet, which made them excellent zip guns. Just for fun, mind.

One of the things I carried the longest was a pen and a pad of paper. The pad had to be small enough to fit in my pocket and I eventually found one that filled that requirement perfectly. So, I bought a gross of them and, for many years, my “Perfect Paper Pocket Pad” was a constant companion. But then along came the Smartphone, and why carry a pad of paper (perfect though it may be) when you’ve got a phone that can take dictation or be used to write notes? The answer, of course, is you wouldn’t, so I don’t, and as a result—just as I am entering the time of my life when I truly need to write reminder notes—nothing ever gets written down.

First of all, it never occurs to me to take my phone out, and even if I did, by the time I turned it on, opened the required app and then attempted to painstakingly type whatever was on my mind, I’d have forgotten what it was I wanted to write. It was much more convenient to jot notes on a pad that I could later A) forget to look at, B) find were nothing but illegible scrawls, or C) wonder what I meant by the cryptic “nakked house cleaners.” Therefore, I continue to carry only my phone—and, oddly, a pen, even though I have nothing to write on—and use it mainly to Google things like “Is there any such thing as Nakked House Cleaners?” (Spoiler: there is.)

However, the item I have carried around the longest—from around 10 years old to now—is a loop of string. The reasons behind this—as well as the benefits—are so far-reaching and varied that I have devoted an entire post to it. If you are interested, you can go read that. It may amaze you. Or not.

What amazed me in writing this post was not only the variety of items I, at one time or other, carried in my pockets, but that I still have so many of them, as evidenced by the accompanying photos.

Currently, the only thing I now carry that I did not carry in my younger years is a key to my flat. Otherwise, if I am ever detained at Her Majesty’s pleasure, and am required to empty my pockets before being shown to my room, the screws will find the following:

• a wallet
• a tiny Swiss Army knife
• a Uni-Ball, Micro Pen with waterproof black ink
• a Guitar pick
• a two-pound coin and three one-pound coins (for Pay-and-Display parking, Leisure Centre lockers, and Buskers)
• the key to my flat
• and, of course, a loop of string

I have no way of knowing if what I keep in my pockets now—or in the past—is “normal” and I have no way of finding out that wouldn’t involve awkward conversations and the possible inclusion of my name on a register. To keep things above board, I think I’ll just wait until I see my grandkids again and ask them. If one of them tells me they keep a dead rat and a string to swing it with, that will truly warm my heart. However, if I find them with a sandblaster tip, I’m taking it away.