Joining the Conspiracy

For the past ten years I have been believing a lie, but thanks to a program I watched last night, suddenly it all became clear: the 9/11 Catastrophe was conceived, orchestrated and carried out by government agencies, and a grand conspiracy has been keeping this truth from the public ever since.

Really, there is no other logical explanation for it, and after seeing the show last night I can’t believe I was so blind to the truth for all these years.

This is what really happened:

(Phone rings.)

“Hello, Government Agency?  This is the Arms Industry.  Business has been a bit slow; do you think you could create a catastrophe that will lead the US into a long and costly war?”

“Say, that’s a great idea.  We’ll get the President on board and call you back.”

(Later)

“Hello, Arms Industry?  The President thought it was a great idea.  Here’s what we can offer: we’ll blow up the World Trade Center towers.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“We’ll just send our agents in, disguised as workmen, to drill holes, plant high explosives, cover the girders with flammable paint and run miles of wires to set it all off in a coordinated fashion.”

“Won’t someone notice?”

“No.  Guys dressed in boiler suits are invisible; the security guards and other employees will just think they are checking the meter.”

“That sounds reasonable.  How are you going to set it off?”
 

“This is the great part: we need something spectacular, and we have to blame it on someone else, so we picked the Arabs and decided to have ‘hijacked’ jet airliners crash into the buildings.  Once the buildings are on fire, we can have the ground crews set off the explosives and bring the buildings down.”

“Who is going to fly the planes?”

“We’ll have some of our agent’s at the controls.”

“Wow, dedicated staff.”

“We only hire the best.”

“So, what else?”

“Um, well, that’s it.”

“Oh, come on.  You’ll need to do better than that.  No one is going to want to go to war over something that trivial.  Why don’t you blow up the Pentagon, too?”

“That’s a possibility.  We’ll give them a call and get back to you.”

(Pentagon phone rings.)

“Hello, general?  This is the Government Agency.  Say, you wouldn’t mind shooting a cruise missile at the Pentagon, would you?  It’s for a good cause.”

“Sure thing!  We have lots of cruise missiles lying around, and we won’t mind sending a submarine with thousands of service men on board out into the Atlantic to fire a missile at the US—no one will think that strange.  And we certainly don’t mind shooting it at ourselves; we’ll just make sure that section of the building is filled with people we don’t like.”

“Oh, and another thing, do you think you can ground all military aircraft on, say, September 11?  It would really be a big help.”

“Consider it done.”
 

(Back to the Arms Industry.)

“Hey, Government Agency, great job getting the military on board; but do you think this will be enough?  Shouldn’t we have a fallback?  How about if we crash a plane into the White House?”

“No, that would be taking things a bit too far.”

“Then how about we set off an explosion in a field in Pennsylvania, scatter some debris around and tell people it was a plane headed for the White House?”

“I don’t know, do you think they’ll buy it?”

“We could fabricate some phone calls from people on the plane, saying ‘good-bye’ to their ‘loved ones.’  That should do the trick.”

“So the airplane, and all the people on it won’t actually exist, and the ‘loved ones’ will all be in on the conspiracy!  That’s brilliant!”
 

And so they pulled it off, and the world watched in horror as thousands of people died, the Trade Center towers came down, the Pentagon exploded and a simulated airliner crash appeared in a field in Pennsylvania, all so they could give a boost to the arms industry and become entangled in a Middle Eastern war.  And the tens of thousands of people who were in on the conspiracy have all been sworn to secrecy, so they aren’t talking.

Now, doesn’t that make so much more sense than the idea that a handful of dedicated fanatics took advantage of a trusting nation to slip aboard a few airplanes, forcibly take control of them and use them to cause as much havoc as they could?

Really, some people need to get a life.