For those of you who don’t know, David Sedaris is a very funny man whose work I have long admired. I have known for some time that he is, like me, an expat, but that was hardly notable; there are a lot of expats around these days.

What I did not know was that Mr. Sedaris had a series of shows on BBC Radio 4, where he would read selected essays to a live audience. I accidentally bumped into these broadcasts during an ironing marathon one Sunday afternoon back in May and have been a keen listener every since.

During this weekend’s episode, however, Mr. Sedaris tipped his hand: becoming a fan and finding his show were not merely pleasant accidents, he has been stalking me.

Mr. Sedaris (or, should I call him “Dave,” as we seem to be intimately connected) was born just about two years after me, in Binghamton, New York, so his stalking started early, with him literally following me into the world. And now, some (pick a number—a large one) years later, after the two of us move to the other side of the world, it turns out we’re neighbors. In his essay “Rubbish” Dave tells how he and his partner came to live in a little Sussex village just down the road from me. Coincidence? I think not.

Okay, maybe is just a fluke, but at least this gives me another opportunity to talk about the shameful state of Britain’s roads, and the endemic insouciance the British have concerning litter. I’ve banged on about this before, but Dave does a truly marvelous and hysterical job of shining a light on this nefarious activity. So go have a listen; you’ll be glad you did.

And stop throwing your crap all over this beautiful country; you should be ashamed of yourselves!